Hopedance

Fuck It: the ultimate spiritual way by John C. Parkin
(Hay House, 200 pages, $14. 95)

I loved reading the summary of this book from the publisher's e-mail. I requested a review copy right away… from Hay House of all publishers! Hay House was your typical spiritual New Age publisher but lately they've been expanding the realm of the New Age. I congratulate you Hay House! I love seeing niches expand and become bridges, bridge makers, stretching into new territories. We certainly need to bridge various niches so we can see the oneness within all of our diversity so we can collaborate more and see and feel the commonalities!

Of course the book cover doesn't really spell the name out but has asterisks in the title (F**k It) and even on their website. But inside the book "Fuck It" is certainly spelled out. The main gist of the book is to let go, its as if the western world needs its own version of the eastern concept and practice of letting go. And this is not only western, but it's fun as well as sacrilegious. Necessarily so. And to say fuck it includes an edge to it as well as a letting go but I think we need that edge since the control and the calculated life and this strictness of what one ought to be doing needs an edge to halt it, to jolt it out of its slumbers. And because the controlling structured life is not making us happy, it certainly begs for a new genuine fun as well as countering the seriousness of seriousness. Seriousness and complaining and whining and more and more restrictions and less sleep and more work are making people miserable. Time to do something different, even if it goes to that outer edge of saying fuck it. The balance will work itself out.

What's interesting while I was reading the book is that since I am a laughter yoga teacher (whose role it is to use laughter for no reason and as an exercise to halt/heal the incredibly moroseness and unhealthiness of this new epidemic called seriousness), I found myself substituting the word "laugh" every time Parkin wrote the expression “fuck it.” And it worked quite well. Whatever works, I say. When reading the book try it and see for yourself.

For me it was quite smooth sailing with lots of laughter and praising the author for his insights and his sense of humor. I have said “fuck it” to many of the social more's rigid “shoulds" so I was right there with him. But when it came to my specific serious “shoulds” like “saving the world” and the numerous causes I enlisted myself and have attempted to convert others, I was curious. In pages 113 to 117 in a subchapter called “Say Fuck It to wanting the world to be a better place” I found myself cringing. And page 115 Parkin writes: “So here's the thing: let's recognize that good will never win out over bad, or vice versa. Let's accept things as they are… just exactly as they are right now. Let's say fuck it to the battle. It really doesn't matter. The news is the same every day. Just with different names. It's boring.” And then he goes on to say: “Like everything else that you do, once you start saying fuck it, the effect is peculiar. Once you give up wanting the world to be a better place, you may well start actually doing something that has an apparent effect in the world.”

On page 116 and 117 he reiterates: “Say fuck it to climate change. And in this context fuck it means relaxing. After all, it's the panicky fear that switches us to 'flight' mode. So relax. Breathe deeply (even if the air around you is polluted). Relax and then decide to have the courage to face this one. Face it every day. Think deeply about what's going on and what your place can be in dealing with climate change."

"As you face the problem, don't feel obligated to do anything at all. That feeling of obligation is like leaving the window open and letting that pesky tension get back in. Don't let me tell you what to do. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something. Don't feel guilty about what you've done or haven't done… or what we as humankind have done or haven't done.”

I cant tell you how important this book has been for me... as well as many others at a time of simply saying no, no more, to stop my own insanity, to stop my MO.. and by stopping, something else could breathe in me, to open me up.

An interesting notion about oneness and separation which was the theme of Adyashanti's new book called Falling into Grace (see review at http://hopedance.org/media-reviews/books/1905), Parkin includes it as well: “At a time in the history of humanity when we have the technology to blow each other to smithereens (and take the rest of the world with us), this could be the one thing that binds us all together.”

“At the moment just before we all go down, we'll probably realize that we're all one, that all is one—just like all the gurus and teachers have all been going on about for so long. Ironic, really, as it's the perception of separation (from each other and from nature) that has got us here in the first place.”

So if you're interested in expanding your particular viewpoint whether it is as a social change agent, activist, spiritual person, or whatever... take a fun walk down this route of the western version of letting go. But then again we'll only truly let go when sometimes out of sheer exhaustion, or illness or when our MO is no longer working and we can actually see and taste the insanity of our MO... then and only then will we be open to say Fuck It!

And if you don't like this review, just say fuck it and do something different. And if you don't like saying the words, fuck it, how about substituting words like “relax,” “let go,” laugh, stop, do something else and see where it takes you.

I sold all the copies I had online and am sure you can get one from Amazon for $10.17. Check it out. And although Parkin lives in Italy, he runs a retreat center where for a period of time you can engage in the fuck it philosophy and, as he writes, where they have "plenty of hammocks!" Buy the book and find out where! And check out the fuck it video: http://hopedance.org/community-media/videos/655

- Bob Banner publishes www.hopdance.org online and is a laughter yoga teacher. He can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .