As an adult, I decided to embrace my jewishness.
I started my own yearly Chanukah party.
Yes every year, the date changes of when the jews want to light the menorah to celebrate the 8 days of oil burning in the temple and every year I can't get my party to coordinate with the correct dates. "But it won't really be chanukah on the 19th? so I don't think I should say the prayer." one of my guests lamented.
You see, being jewish but not being raised jewish, I need my "knowledgeable jew in customsand prayers" to be there; the one that recites the prayer in Hebrew about miracles and gathering together with loved ones and being together in the darkest time of the year. My non jewish friends attend this event in great anticipation to learn what it means to be jewish, what chanukah is all about, our customs and rituals. What they do get is a prayer spoken in Hebrew, the lighting of the Menorah and the potato latkes.. After that, its anybodies guess.
I insist on a moment of silence to honor those in our lives that have passed and then, if we want, we can mention anything in our life that has lasted that we never in a million years thought would.... This year one of my guests declared loudly: "MY MARRIAGE!" So you see, it is the blending of the secular and the sacred.There was this one year that one of my guests insisted that any party is a time for a little mind alteration and pulled out some pot for all to try. That was the year I invited my super conservative newly arrived NOrtern Italian boyfriend. He came in a buttoned down blue silk suit. He looked like he was ready to run for the hills until my father assured him that NO. this was not another den of inequity to which we jews belong.
One year my brother brought chanuka songs and we sang them altogether and then my father handed out copies of the song; Send in the Clowns the bittersweet song by Steven Sondheim, the lyricist.
The most challenging part for me is the menu.
You see I love to experiment and I love to cook.
I search and leaf thru dozens of cookbooks changing my theme as I go weeks before the party. I fell in love with southern mediterrnean this year and so had to do onion jam for the latkas with quince preserve. From Alice Waters, she has a brilliant raw cranberry relish which packs the freshest punch and bursts off the plate with color. I had bought the La Mesa Grill cookbook and so I had to do the Spicy Pumpkin soup with toasted pumpkin seeds. For a palate cleanser, I wanted crunch: fennel and celery root sald with toasted pecans with a ginger vinaigrette. Dessert: caramel apple custard tart.
What was different about this year??? After 10 years of chanukah parties. I woke up one morning and realized I could be a guest at my own party and hire servers!!!
The revelation? I enjoyed the company and let myself be served for the first time. The food tasted to so much better and the miracle???
At the end of the party; one of the servers slyly approached me:
You know, you were really lucky that those 4 people cancelled tonight. We had just enough latkas to last.
And God said that it was good.
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