I Wanted To Study Chemistry

I wanted to study chemistry
so badly
in high school
I could taste it
just like when I was ten
I wanted an encyclopedia
oh, God, please
my parents scoffed
what do you want that for
you should be an idiot
like we are

that's when I decided
they made a mistake in the hospital
my real parents would come find me
and take me home

they never came

I read the Bible twice
the only book in the house
didn't understand all that stupid begetting
and begotting

we had five years of high school
I was allowed the secretarial tracking
for stupid girls
who had no promise in life
no dream

don't you want to be happy
being a housewife
cooking, cleaning
staying home
making babies
like me

no

I  was thirteen
in eighth grade
walking by the Algebra class
every day
maybe I can learn something
peeking through the window
upstairs to chemistry
furtively looking through the door
at the magical things they were doing
standing at their lab stations

by my senior year
I got up the courage to lie
took Algebra
aced it
best in class
when the teacher couldn’t solve the written problems
I helped him
showed him
how to draw
three dimensions
on the blackboard

took Biology
premature to Chemistry
best in class
wrote my own outlines
memorized them
100%

took Geometry
making the classroom
my study hall
didn't dare ask for the book
watched instead of studied
surreptitiously

Mr. Crocker
put me in the College prep English class
my parents asked why
she knows diagramming sentences
better than anyone
he said
she belongs in there

I do?
gee whiz

- Marcia Sherman (July 26, 2010)