Introduction

by
Bob Banner
&
Gene Hoffman

 

Conflicts are inevitable. They arise individually and politically, personally and globally. It is easy to take a side... very easy to take a side. There’s some kind of security in taking a side. Often times there is insecurity in not knowing. To simply hold conflicting paradigms or thoughts or sides is indeed challenging. As Idries Shah wrote, "To ‘see both sides’ of a problem is the surest way to prevent its complete solution. Because there are always more than two sides."

Our conflicts in the West may not be as bloody and physical as in the developing nations... but nevertheless we have conflict. The question is not necessarily to eliminate conflict but how we work with such conflicts in our courts, our schools, our environmental organizations and our personal lives. One of the most moving quotes on the opposite page is from Gene Knudsen Hoffman (co-editor of this issue), "An enemy is one whose story we have not heard." If we are so consumed with our own beliefs, our own sides with our waving banners, and our think tanks to back up every opinion so we can beef up our arguments, we will never have time (or space) to hear the other’s story. I recall when a teacher instructed me to read right-wing literature since it was rather obvious that I had been entrenched with left-wing thought. It was the most difficult of assignments. I started to listen to their concerns, to feel their intentions and I became very uncomfortable.

We in the developed West don’t have to face the frequent slaughtering of villages, the mass rampage of villagers looting and killing aimlessly or helicopter bombings of homes and work places. Our conflicts are in the bedroom, in the PTA meetings, the city councils, the Board of Supervisor meetings. Often times our disputes are between people who are our allies. Environmental groups as well as peace and spiritual groups (as well as listservs) have their bouts of conflict, frustration, anger, violence and downright uncivility.

This special issue focuses on these various challenges. Even though we may have the most brilliant of intentions or highfalutin of ideals often times our communication skills are adolescent (or pre-adolescent) when it comes to working with conflict. But as in other issues of HopeDance, our purpose is to search for models that work, models and examples that go beyond the usual conflict of either/or... this side or that side. We have collected articles that are not only inspiring but they help us in learning specific strategies and acquire certain attitudes so we can become more compassionate citizens, activists, and human beings.

It hurts me deeply to know that there are so many excellent remedies for our current crisis yet the simple implementations are thwarted endlessly. As Medea Benjamin said in her interview (in Issue #24), "... there are solutions, known solutions, to probably just about any problem you could bring up...." But to travel the journey from thought to action or from a pioneering solution to more broad-based solutions requires much effort. It demands tolerance, mediation, patience, a willingness to listen to various strategies as well as differing opinions. Also, in many situations it requires forgiveness, compassion and reconciliation. All these qualities are not profusely manifesting themselves in our dominant culture. Our culture is primarily an adolescent one where our movement towards wisdom and maturity is like pulling teeth (see review of Duane Elgin’s new book on page 46). As the Dalai Lama currently said, "The 20th century was a century of conflict; the 21st century will be a century of dialogue."

The problem is not only simple inertia (what happened to all those resolutions we pride ourselves in making every new year... how long do they last?) but we have a media that continually focuses on the negative, the violence, the troops, the decapitated heads. How often do we see HOW people have come together to resolve differences? Have we learned of the groups who have been working for years healing the differences between the Israelis and the Palestinians? Where are the procedures and methods for non-violent communication or for mediation rather than the lawsuit, or the intense therapy sessions rather than jail or the community conferencing where victims and offenders can meet to begin facilitating a possible healing?

This issue addresses a need both locally and globally as to how we work with conflict as well as how to move beyond the blaming. We have turned our attention to many people who have answers.

Gene Hoffman writes about Michael Henderson’s fine book called Forgiveness (see p.8). When I first browsed an earlier book of his (The Forgiveness Factor) years ago I could not help but be terribly moved by the extraordinary stories of compassion, reconciliation and forgiveness by ordinary citizens who came forward to heal the horrendous wounds from various political atrocities throughout the late 20th century.

The most difficult spiritual path on the planet has been considered to be Relationships and nowhere else is it tested but in a community like cohousing in Oceano. Patty Mara Gourley reflects on years of working in Community Living (see p. 10). Toni Flynn writes about her guerrilla theatre experience to oppose the School of the Assassins in Washington DC and how she works with compassion for the enemy (see p.31). Leah Greene writes an update of her work with the Compassionate Listening Project between the Israelis and the Palestinians (see p.12). And for a broad-based perspective we turn to the story of the Shambhala Warrior where compassion and insight are the two weapons needed to survive our planet (see p.16). Roberta Cordero, a mediator as well as a Chumash writes about mediation as to how it relates to sustainability (see p.32). And the story about City@Peace reveals what a community can do to help youth transform their conflicts and violence into drama and performance (see p.38). Bob Banner draws us into an episode of his life where conflicts were dealt full-on, emotionally and physically, and ponders the question of its usefulness to deal with healing our wounds before a palpable peace can emerge... perhaps it is what leaders ought to do before sending in the troops (see p.14). Numerous examples and stories that reveal how conflicts are resolved could not possibly be included in this issue... so we have created a page listing numerous web sites to help you track down specific topics (see p.21).

Hopefully, these stories, strategies and examples will all help us deal with the ever growing need to work together for a sustainable and healthy community and planet. Not only so we can live our ideals of true democracy but to create peace, compassion and effectiveness in our activism as well as our lives.

We also have published material about important matters: the Instant Runoff Voting (IRV) is explained briefly on page 52. Folks are collaborating in Goleta to save agricultural land (see p.34); the Living Wage Coalition is getting off the ground (p.35). An update about the sharpshooter bug (that is having the wine industry up in arms) has included the creation of the very important "Canaries Foundation" (see p.44). The future of HopeDance is mentioned in a letter from the publisher on page 42.

Bob Banner & Gene Knudsen Hoffman