I am often asked, “What do positive life changes look like in a child, or for that matter, in anyone?” As I am just beginning to understand this question, I see that one healthy goal for us to envision — or imagine — as individuals and as a community is that of the wizened, community- minded elder, who shares his or her experiences in ways that guide children toward service and stewardship. By picturing the “elder in training” as an ideal, we can benchmark our positive life changes through service to our community. This means service to self, family, and friends, the community at-large, and to the environment.

Service begins with me and it begins with you. We must be the change we seek in the world. From there, our concentric ring can move out with power and affect. This is one of the fundamental ecological principles guiding the interdependence of all life. Through this principle I find immense hope in that we each have the power to change the world.

I am reminded of a phrase shared by a friend recently when confronted with a sticky situation with a neighbor, “We cannot make peace, we must BE peace!” I look at this axiom and think of its relationship to mentoring and how we must become the change we hope for in the youth we guide. The foundation of service is about being that change through awareness of our own gifts and by knowing how to express them — and little else. Service then becomes a walk in the moment through our daily existence. No matter where we work, walk, or play, following our hearts is a practice in service.

We can become elders, not just old people, by serving our community in simple, substantial ways that bring health and happiness to our daily lives. By recognizing, developing, and sharing our individual inherent bundle of gifts, we hold the world with an embrace of service that is at the very root of our being. Being “in your gift” is knowing why you are here on the earth and what piece of the puzzle you are here to fulfill. When we are in that place of understanding our own power, we are a living piece of art that works from creativity, awareness, and empathy. When a child is patterning his or her behavior early in life on mentors who know and express their gifts, a learning gradient is created for the eventual flowering of that child’s own unique gifts.

One of our core routines of mentoring at Wilderness Youth Project is creating a hero culture around service in action. On our family adventure outings we begin the weekend with a thanksgiving circle in which children and adults alike share those things we each are thankful for in life. This brings us together around appreciation for our lives and the world around us. Children and adults are excused from the circle for dinner by sharing something helpful they have done for someone over the past week. Once the kids share, they go up to the expedition kitchen, fill the plates of their parents, and then serve their parents and the elders dinner. Immediately, service is put into action.

The next morning, at the end of the thanksgiving circle, all the kids and adults are excused in the same manner as the evening before. This time, we each share those things we have done for others in the last 24 hours. Many of the kids again go right to the task of serving their elders and parents a lovingly prepared breakfast. They also begin to clear and wash other people’s plates at the end of the meal. A dance of service ensues for the remainder of the weekend and on into their everyday lives.

That second night, as people are excused from the thanksgiving circle for dinner, we each share about some act of service that we saw another person perform. Then the person who is being recognized for his or her service is excused to get dinner. In all of our circles we creatively honor the stewardship and service for our selves, our family and friends, and our environment. The kids pick up on our accolade for such action and they begin to model the ‘heroes’ who are receiving the accolade. As the time the youth spends with us progresses, we bring service more into a place of anonymity.

Service becomes something we do because it is in our true nature, and not as a show. Service is core to our human operating system and is key to becoming fully alive. There are gifts for the character that come only through selflessness. In these gifts are a plethora of lessons around understanding the essence of who we are and how our concentric rings effects the world we live in. If one harms the world, one also harms oneself. If one serves the world, one is also serving those deep inner needs of self, an age-old karmic principle. As we actively train to be elders who guide our communities toward a healthy place, we must fully imagine our natural gifts out of their shells and into the expression of our lives. It is then that we are no longer the artist, but the work of art.

Before you sit down to dinner tonight, ask yourself, “What have I done to help another move further into his or her gifts over the past day?” We must become those heroes of service and eventual elders of insight and compassion for our families and for our communities. Look around you today and see with awareness how to be truly helpful in anticipation of the needs of the people around you. Service is not something you do only when you are retired but is in the kindness you share with everyone you meet and in every way you live your daily life.

Positive life changes are born out of the womb of the “elder mind and child heart” where each and every one of us is walking our path of service. Please join with me in imagining a world where the children are truly healthy and happy, living in an earth that is nurtured for the generations to come, and a community of elders who see, feel, and understand the nature of service. If we can see a healthy future, we can get there! Peace!